


Why would I want to contain myself?

by TomasNostradamus



Category: Anne with an E (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-31
Updated: 2019-12-31
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:20:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22045513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TomasNostradamus/pseuds/TomasNostradamus
Summary: Gilbert and Anne meet at Green Gables after not seeing each other since admitting their feelings (set after season 3). Light and fluffy.My apologies for any errors, I wrote it quickly and only read through it once. It's a bit scattered at times, but I hope you enjoy it regardless!
Relationships: Gilbert Blythe & Anne Shirley, Gilbert Blythe/Anne Shirley
Comments: 19
Kudos: 323





	Why would I want to contain myself?

Anne was by the door pacing back and forth, staring out the window. She was home for the Christmas holiday and Gilbert was due to arrive soon.

“Oh Marilla, I’m just absolutely elated. Diana once told me she loved me and I thought that was the purest form of earthly bliss. I never thought anyone could love me! You and Mathew came along and then Diana loved me and then Ruby and Cole and Aunt Jo and I think some of the other girls may love me too, although even if they don’t I know they like me well enough and now Gilbert! Can you even believe it?”

“Yes dear child, I can believe it! I’ve been watching him make eyes at you for years, now do come sit down; pacing certainly won’t make him get here faster. Try to contain yourself.”

“How could I possibly contain myself? And why would I want to? Gilbert Blythe is coming here to see ME!”

“Yes Anne, but you have been courting for months; I had expected some of the novelty of the situation to wear off by now.”

“You can’t be serious! I haven’t seen him since that fateful day before starting at Queens and while the letters have certainly aided the agony of our separation they in no way compare to his physical presence.”

“That reminds me Anne, you’d better watch yourself while in proximity to his physical presence. You are a passionate individual and I don’t want you getting into trouble.”

Anne blushed, “Please Marilla, you know Gilbert would never compromise me.”

She raised her eyebrows at her while focusing on washing the dishes from breakfast. “I’d like to think I know Gilbert, but I also know you and you have a way of convincing people to do things that may otherwise seem out of character.”

“That may be true, but I’m not an idiot.”

“You certainly aren’t.” She smiled.

“He’s coming! Marilla I can see him! How do I look?”

“You look perfectly fine. Do try to calm down, child.”

“Absolutely not!” She yelled as she grabbed her coat and ran out the door. She paused on the porch still not sure if she could trust her eyes. But there he was, his horse slowing from his gallop and Gilbert already preparing to dismount. They ran to each other and he caught her in his arms, spinning her around in a tight embrace. He placed her down gently and stared into her eyes, their foreheads resting together as he slid his hand up to her face and began kissing her. At first it replicated their last kiss but quickly deepened into something much more intense, months of awaiting this meeting adding passion and urgency to the connection.

Marilla arrived on the porch just in time to witness the display of affection. “Anne! Gilbert! What are you thinking! Anne, what did we JUST talk about?”

Anne jumped away from him, “Sorry Marilla!” They both looked at Gilbert, awaiting his response.

“Good day, Miss Cuthbert. I… um…” he removed his hat and looked down somewhat bashfully but somehow also displaying a newfound arrogance. “I’m not going to lie to you Miss Cuthbert. I am not sorry.” He looked up through his hair that was well in need of a cut. He smiled at her and tried not to laugh. Anne for her part knew this wasn’t the time to laugh, but couldn’t prevent her eyes from bulging out of her head at his daring response.

“Gilbert Blythe! What would your father have to say about that bold response? And kissing out in the open? Where anyone could see you? You both said you wanted to keep this quiet! What if Rachel had been walking by?”

“If my father knew how much I loved Anne, I think we both know that he would tell me to kiss her every chance I get and to not let anyone or anything stand in my way.” Anne gasped. “I wasted far too much time figuring out my feelings for her and I am not willing to waste another minute.”

Anne’s hand was on her chest and she visibly out of breath at hearing his words, her eyes tearing up. She looked hopefully toward Marilla.

Marilla’s eyes moistened at the eloquent and honest words of the boy, no, man, standing before her. “You are every bit you father’s son, young man.” She opened her arms, welcoming him into a hug. He jogged up the porch into her embrace, Anne following closely behind, observing the genuine respect and affection between the two. “I am so proud of who you’ve become, Gilbert,” Marilla whispered, “I’m so impressed. And I know your father would be as well.”

“Thank you ma’am,” he said on an exhale, not realizing how much he needed her embrace and validation.

She pulled away from him. “Gilbert, I am so glad you are here. I missed Anne like crazy, but she hasn’t stopped talking since yesterday and most of it has been about you and I require a brief reprieve.”

“I’m not going anywhere, Miss Cuthbert.” He smiled.

“Anne,” Marilla continued, “Do be sensible and invite your guest in before we all catch our death.”

“Oh please, Marilla, must we be so formal?”

“Anne!”

“What? He has been here hundreds of times and has even been known to waltz in on his own volition!” Anne shot him a look out of the corner of her eye.

“Anne that is no excuse, now that you are courting things are different. You are expected to follow certain rules.”

“But we are different! Can’t we just be ourselves?”

“Please, Anne.”

Anne smoothed down her dress, and folded her hands in front of her, pasting a wicked smile on her face that they both knew only meant trouble.

“Very well, we all know I am nothing if not a rule follower," she stated sarcastically. She took a deep breath, gathering herself before beginning with a disturbingly sweet and artificial tone. “Mr. Blythe, I thank you ever so much for calling on Green Gables this glorious December morning! And might I just say you look ever so dashing? Your sweater perfectly complements your eyes, though your lips seem a bit swollen, I wonder whatever that could be from. Won’t you please come in where we can stand on ceremony and pretend that your tongue wasn’t just in my mouth? I’ve just put the kettle on, would you like some tea?” She stepped confidently through the threshold of the house. No one followed her.

Gilbert just stood there, mouth agape, not sure exactly how to proceed under the watchful eye of Marilla.

“Excuse me sir,” she turned back to him leaning through the door with her eyebrows up. “I asked if you would like some tea. It’s rude to not respond to your host.”

“Tea sounds great, thank you Anne.” And she disappeared inside once again.

“Welcome home, Gilbert,” Marilla said quietly, displaying some sarcasm of her own. “Between your influence and her time at Queens, it seems our Anne has found her confidence.”

“Pardon me for saying, but I was under the impression that she had plenty of confidence before.”

“I thought the same,” she said entering the house, “It seems we miscalculated.”

\---

Gilbert and Anne enjoyed tea on the couch, Anne presenting herself as the perfect host.

“I wasn’t lying about needing a reprieve; I’m going to go rest for a while.” Marilla said as she walked toward the stairs.

Anne sputtered, “Wait, you’re leaving us unchaperoned?”

“Like you said, you’re different. I trust you both to make good choices. I’d thank you to not disappoint me.”

“Miss Cuthbert, would it be okay if I take Anne on a walk later?”

“I very much appreciate your consideration Gilbert, even though we both know Anne is going regardless of what I say,” she said, shooting a look at the redhead. “Enjoy the day, you two, and please watch out for Rachel.”

Gilbert took Anne’s hands and they sat there beaming at each other. Not sure what to say, but blissfully happy in each other’s company.

“I can’t believe you’re finally here!”  
“I can’t believe I’m finally here!”

They erupted with laughter at the simultaneous exclamation. Uncharacteristically, Anne calmed first, staring at him and then shaking her head in disbelief.

“Is something wrong?” He asked, concern growing on his face.

“I just… I don’t… I’m sorry Gilbert, I’ve read all your letters dozens of times and I don’t for a second believe you disingenuous. No one can lie that well, not even me.” He laughed. “But I’m still having such a hard time believing this is real. I mean, how did this happen? I still find myself pinching my wrist with every letter I receive and I can’t help but feel that I will never get used to this.”

“Anne,”

“I don’t mean to be a nuisance and I’ve been trying to calm myself over the situation, but I just can’t believe my good fortune and you know how my brain is, I need to make sense of things.”

“What happened to your legendary imagination? You loved stories like this when you were growing up; a series of missteps and misadventures leading to a happy ever after? Not all your stories were tragical romances.”

“But they were just stories! Stories told to lead dreams and distract from a life of pain! They weren’t expected to happen in real life! No one thought they would come true, least of all to someone like me!”

“Anne,”

“I mean, the dashing prince falling in love with the homely orphan? No one is going to read that, it’s just too implausible.”

“Anne,”

“And then you take into account how I treated you! With such vehemence! For YEARS! Your tenacity, or maybe stupidity, of enduring that to get through to me, I simply can’t fathom how it is worth it for you, don’t get me wrong, I am ever so grateful that you persisted but seriously Gilbert, what were you thinking? No one in their right mind would endure such behavior when he could have his pick of anyone!”

He rolled his eyes and kissed her, quickly learning that this may be the only way to get a word in. “Stop talking,” he whispered, their lips still touching. “If you ever call yourself homely again I will tell Diana to let everyone at Queens know you are seeking a suitor and you can deal with the endless line of applicants.”

“Gilbert, I’m serious,” she said quietly.

“So am I.”

“I am perfectly well aware that I’m not the awkward child I used to be and I’ve even started to appreciate my unique beauty if that’s what you want to call it, but you can’t deny that there are more beautiful women than I, and you could have your pick of them. You are a catch, Gilbert Blythe. Intelligent, kind, considerate, the list goes on and on and that’s on top of being devastatingly handsome!”

“We were all awkward children, Anne. I understand that pain sticks with you.”

“Thbbt,” she blew a raspberry, “you weren’t.”

“Of course I was you just didn’t see it. I’m a couple years older than you and by the time I got back to Avonlea and met you I had nearly grown into my eyebrows.”

She laughed aloud at this, knowing is eyebrows could hold up both ends of a conversation.

“I could ask the same thing of you, you are stunning, and surpass me in every trait you attributed to me. So why on earth would you choose me?”

She threw her hands up and looked around the room in exasperation, “Well, that’s not the same at all!”

“Yes it is! Surely I’m not the most attractive man you’ve ever seen!”

“Yes, absolutely you are.”

Gilbert was taken aback at the certain response, “No Anne, you just think that because you love me.”

“Don’t tell me what I think Gilbert, I said what I meant. Everyone agrees: Ruby, Diana, Tillie, Jane, even Josie concedes that you are the most handsome man we know and they are all courting others. Some are even courting multiple others.”

“Tillie?”

“You know it.”

“Well, that’s a bit awkward for me to hear so I’m just going to move past it.” He held her hands again and adjusted himself on the couch so he was facing her. “Anne, you are absolutely beautiful, I know this to be a fact. If you ever got out of your own head long enough to notice the men around you, you would see them staring, and I assure you it is _not_ because you are odd. It’s because you are radiant. You just tend to get lost in your own world sometimes, utterly oblivious to the attention that is being given to you.”

“I can’t tell if you are trying to help me or making fun of me for not realizing you were in love with me for three years.”

“In your defense, I didn’t realize it either, but I see no reason why this discussion can’t be multi-faceted.” He laughed, “Anyway, your beauty is enhanced by your spirit, especially for me since I have seen your beauty and spirit intertwined since our first meeting and I am irrevocably drawn to it. Anyone who meets you can see that yes, there is something different about you, but it’s not a bad something; it’s not something to learn to deal with. Perhaps it can best be explained as a magnification of your already exquisite traits. People feel your energy, your exuberance for life and they are drawn to you. Everything about you, including your past, your dreams, your determination, your beauty and your stubbornness are so intertwined and attuned to what I desire that to me, you are without a doubt the most beautiful woman I have ever seen.”

Anne went to say something and found herself unable to find any words. Confusion spread across her face at this new found concept.

“That’s twice now that I’ve been able to render you speechless, Carrots,” he leaned back into the couch visibly pleased with himself.

“I’m just surprised by you, is all. You seem to have gotten more confident, not to mention more loquacious while at school, Doctor. And do I sense some arrogance? You must actually be learning something despite lack of intelligent competition.”

“Medical school is killing me, Anne. I’m working hard and I’m doing fine, but the ways in which you see me changed are solely the result of receiving your love.”

Anne’s jaw dropped.

“And that’s three times,” he chuckled.

She looked down and wiped away a tear.

“Anne, what’s wrong?”

“Absolutely nothing is wrong.” She looked up at him, her joy apparent, “Thank you, Gilbert.”

“I promised you a walk through your beloved Avonlea, care to join me on this ‘glorious December day’ as you so aptly described it?”

“I’d be honored.”

They bundled up in their winter gear and headed out the door and into the crisp, clear air.

“Oh Gilbert, look at that.” She stopped suddenly, her breath taken away by the cold air and the sight before her. “Have you ever seen that effect when the sun is so high in the sky? That is nearly a perfect halo.”

“Apparently it’s called parhelion, and no, I’ve never seen anything like that one. Of that I can be sure.”

He turned to look at her and thought he would never tire of her wonder in seeing the world, her shear appreciation of everything around her and her gratefulness for being a part of it.

“Call it a sun dog like everyone else, you pretentious fool.” She smiled and reached out her gloved had to take his, leading the way into the snow.

\---

Every ten steps or so, she would gaze at him with a questioning look on her face before shaking herself out of it and then repeating the process.

“Do you have something you’d like to say?”

“I, um, did you get taller?”

“Still observant as ever, yea, my pants got shorter so I guess I must have grown a bit, plus I need a haircut, so that might have an added effect.”

“Unbelievable.” She said shaking her head.

“Pardon?”

“I just wish I had some of your good fortune regarding appearances.”

“Anne, we just went over this! Enough!”

“I know it’s vain to wish to be anything other than the way I am, but I’m just so short! I think I can blame my lack of height on poor nutrition in my early years, but you could probably attest to the validity of that statement better than I. Even when wearing my heeled shoes, I have to literally look up to you and honestly, figuratively looking up to you has been hard enough to come to terms with and now I’m just reminded of that admission every time I literally look up to you which I do a lot now and plan on continuing to do so, because who could not look at you? Have you seen your eyes?”

He chuckled, “Yes Anne, I’ve seen my eyes.”

“They are simply stunning. Depending on the day they could be either gray or hazel, but they have actual flecks of gold in them as well! Did you know? It’s simply fascinating.” She paused, her mood diminishing. “Sorry, I was just thinking about when I wrote to you regarding the supposed gold in Avonlea. We didn’t think you were coming back after that- when you wrote you were staying away indefinitely? I-N-D-E-F-I-N-I-T-E-L-Y, by the way, no A. Ruby was devastated. She sobbed for hours, Diana suggested I give Ruby the letter so she would have a piece of you to hold on to, but for some reason I couldn’t bear to part with it so I told myself she would just ruin it with her tears anyway. It was safer with me. I think Diana always knew there was something between us.”

“Apparently everyone knew but us.”

“Yea, that’s annoying. So much for our supposed intelligence. When we were saving Miss Stacey, you said you needed what was already here and that’s why you came back. I never asked- what did you mean by that?”

“It was you Anne, I needed you.” He couldn’t remember the last time he smiled this much. He was well and truly happy, his cheeks burning and he knew it wasn’t from the cold. “I have missed you incredibly. Hearing you talk is all the music I could ever need.”

“Well I doubt that, but the sentiment is appreciated after hearing that I talk too much for 16 years. I’ve missed you too.”

“Lack of competition again?”

“Because I love you Gilbert Blythe! I didn’t realize how much I relied upon your constant presence in my life until we sat for the exam. I was such an idiot to not have noticed.”

“We can’t keep falling back to this Anne; we covered it in countless letters. We were both idiots but we DID figure it out, right? Well, Diana helped, but still. It’s hard to be too upset about all our missteps if it led us here. I for one, love that we are finally to a point where we can be open and honest with each other. I feel like since you moved here, I was always trying to hide a part of myself from you, but I know there were times where we had great conversations, and those remain my favorite memories.”

“And the dancing?” she teased.

“I have never been as simultaneously elated and terrified as when we danced at school. Thinking about it still makes my heart race.”

“Yea, me too,” now they were both smiling.

“Walking with you now though?” Gilbert continued, “I really feel like anything is possible. And I know that sounds cliché but your inherent hope and optimism about life have rubbed off on me and I can’t help myself.”

“I dare say you’re just with me to make you feel better about yourself.”

“I’m with you because I love you and you love me and have allowed me to stand beside you as you change the world. I’m just so excited about our future.”

She stopped walking.“Our future?”

“Relax Carrots, I’m not proposing to you today. And please tell me you’ve stopped believing that you’d make a terrible wife,” he laughed.

She covered her face in embarrassment. “Ugghhh! I was truly hoping you didn’t remember that! That was so embarrassing! I have said so many embarrassing things around you and done so many terrible things that I had assumed you’d forgotten half of them and that’s the only way we could have possibly gotten to where we are today."

“Oh love, I remember them all, and I cherish them immensely.”

“And I’ve noticed you’re sticking with the Carrots moniker?”

“You mean the name I gave you because of how entranced I was by your heavenly hair? Yes, I’m going to stick with it, if you’ll allow it. I stand by what I said.”

“I nearly broke your face because of it!”

“Still,” he laughed. “You have no idea how boring school was before you arrived. I obviously felt bad for getting you into trouble, but being on the receiving end of such passion? I had never been part of anything like it.”

“So you’re actually saying you’re glad I hit you?”

“Yea, it knocked some sense into me with the added benefit of providing Bash with years of entertainment. He maintains that you should have hit me harder.”

“Well hopefully the one time was enough because I can almost promise it will never happen again.”

“Almost?”

“I intend to only shower you with kindness, and I’m learning to control my temper, but I’m just trying to be realistic here.”

“Always the pragmatist.”

“Is it possible to be a pragmatist and a dreamer?”

“Have you met you?”

“That’s a good point.”

“Speaking of dreaming, have you had time to write much lately?”

“Barely. I’ve been so busy with school and contacting various organizations about the plight of the Mi’kmaq that I haven’t had much time for leisurely writing. Other things are more important at the moment. Plus, I think I’ve developed writer’s block and I only have you to blame for that. It was easier to imagine a vibrant and enthralling world to escape to when I wasn’t so completely enamored and satisfied with my reality.”

“I’m not going to apologize for that, Anne. You have an imagination that is second to none. Use it.”

They walked along quietly for a bit.

“We should probably head back soon. I’m sure Marilla will have lunch for us.”

“We still need to discuss announcing our courtship. Marilla, Mathew, Bash and Hazel have kept our relationship quiet as requested. I don’t think Mr. Barry has said anything either per Diana’s request and you said none of the girls at have mentioned it to their parents. It’s up to us to figure out how to inform Avonlea.”

“Ugh, people are going to talk. I can already hear the gossip, ‘Did you hear that harlot orphan lured that good Blythe boy away from that wealthy family and prestigious university? I didn’t think she had any feminine wiles, but who knows what she learned in that orphanage.’”

“Was that supposed to be Josie’s mom?”

“Yea, did you like it?”

“Spot on." he laughed, "Anyway, you have nothing to worry about. It’s been months since that fiasco and Marilla and Miss Stacey made it known that I chose not to go because I didn’t love her and I didn’t want to learn to speak French on top of all the studying I would have to do anyway. They both said people were quick to believe the French bit over the not being able to love Winnie, bit, but either way; they were receptive to the news.

Anne laughed. The people of Avonlea really were something else. “I guess I don’t really care then. It’s our business and people can say what they want. I trust you and I trust us enough to pay them no heed. So what do you want to do? Does the brilliant doctor have any ideas?”

He stopped walking. “I want to you sing to me.”

“What?”

“You have a lovely voice. Sing to me.”

She smiled playfully, not understanding where he was going with this, but happy to comply.

“ _The holly and the ivy,  
When they are both full grown,  
Of all the trees that are in the wood,  
The holly bears the crown”_

Gilbert had taken her hand and put his on her waist and they were suddenly dancing closely together, completely lost in each other while Anne continued singing.

_“O, the rising of the sun,  
And the running of the deer  
The playing of the merry organ,  
Sweet singing in the choir”_

“I love you, Anne.”

“I love you too, Gilbert.”

They stood there kissing, oblivious to the cold. Oblivious to the wind. And Anne alone was oblivious to the fact that they were dancing in front of the building where rehearsal for the Christmas panto was letting out for lunch. There were suddenly dozens of people watching them including, of course, the formidable Rachel Lynde.

“We still need to decide what to do Gilbert,” she said softly, not needing to speak above a whisper due to their proximity.

“No we don’t. It’s done,” he said huskily. “I hope you meant it when you said you didn’t care.”

“What?” her voice rose slightly in confusion.

“I don’t mean to reiterate, but you tend to get so wrapped up in the moment that you don’t notice what’s going on around you; the attention to which you are being paid.” He kissed her tenderly on the cheek before spinning her out of his embrace, maintaining his tight grip on her hand. She laughed giddily, not for one second taking her eyes of off of him. She didn’t care who else was paying attention to her. Right now, he was her whole world and for the moment she was going to enjoy being lost in it. Together, they walked hand in hand as they headed back toward Green Gables.

“Good day Mrs. Lynde!” Gilbert said smugly as they walked past her. “I hope you enjoyed the show! Feel free to tell your friends.”

Anne blushed vibrantly. “Oh my goodness, Gilbert, I think you almost gave her a heart attack.”

“That would be _we_ my love. _We_ almost gave her a heart attack. We are a team now.”

She laughed heartily. “Be that as it may, I feel that university of yours has something to teach you regarding the Hippocratic Oath.”


End file.
